Stacie Costa LPC Grace Ventures, LLC
7935 E 57th St. Tulsa, OK 74145 918-212-8702 gvcounsel@gmail.com www.gvcounsel.com
When choosing to forgive, transfer the debt from the offender to God. God wants to repay you. The offender cannot undo what was done.
| Invoice # _______ | Date Given to God ___________ |
Forgiveness Invoice to God
Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
Romans 12:19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
In completion of this invoice, I will choose to transfer the debt to God. With that choice, I am giving up my right to be repaid by the offending party who cannot undo what has been done. God is paying the debt on behalf of the offending person. God says he will repay. I am the one to whom payment is owed.
In doing so, the legal right to repayment from the offending party now belongs to God. How he deals with the offender is not my business.
Facts about what happened: _____________________________________________________________
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How this offense has affected me: _______________________________________________________
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Negative thoughts about myself because of this offense:
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Feelings I have about this offense:
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Promises I made to myself as a result of the offense which will affect me later (may or may not have this):
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Reminders:
- Forgiveness is a choice, and I choose to forgive the offending party for this offense.
- I choose to grow rather than allow my pain to grow.
- Feelings are indicators. They are NOT the decision makers or the controller of me. The choice of how I respond to the offense is mine.
Forgiveness Invoice to God for Multiple Offenses by Offender
When someone has hurt you repeatedly across time, the offenses build causing much pain and at times trauma. Because of the repetitive nature of the behaviors, there are common feelings and beliefs across the events. This will help you to address the patterns and forgive the offenses individually and collectively.
On a separate sheet of paper, make a list of individual offenses that stand out as the most hurtful.
Add to that list the offenses that happened repetitively. Next to each offense put a number that represents an estimate of how many times you endured each of these offenses.
On another sheet of paper, write down the feelings that you had as you experienced the offenses. Put one feeling on each line. Now go back to the left margin and letter the feelings starting with A and working your way down the list. Use capital letters.
Example: A Fear
B Sad
C Shame
D Disbelief
On the next page write down the negative beliefs you developed or reinforced about yourself because of these events. On the left margin, number the beliefs.
Example: 1. I am trash.
- I am a disappointment to everyone.
- I am a failure as a Christian.
The last list will be lettered with small letters. This list is for any promises or vows you made because of the offenses.
Example: a. I will never trust anyone again.
- I will always keep my thoughts to myself.
- I will not cry about anything.
When you are satisfied with your lists, go back to the list of offenses. At the right of each event add the capital letters of what you felt in that event, the numbers of the beliefs, the small letters representing to promises or vows.
Example: He told me how stupid I am. 20 times. B,C. 2. a, b, c.
Using the examples above: This means he told me I am stupid about 20 times. I felt shame and fear. I believe I am a disappointment to everyone. I promised myself I would not trust anyone, I would keep my thoughts to myself, and I would not cry.
Now you are ready to address each line item with God in prayer. Ask God to bring anything else that you missed to mind. When a different offense is remembered, write an invoice, and forgive it.
Using this you can also see how pervasive the offenses were and why you have come to believe things that are untrue. It will also help you to understand the vows and promises you made to yourself. With this insight, you can choose to change the beliefs and replace the promises with healthy boundaries.
You can incorporate helpful statements into your truth book.
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